Domestic Abuse Resources
Struggling with an Unhealthy Relationship? You are not alone.
If you (or someone you love) are struggling with an unhealthy relationship, please seek support from experts who fully understand the complex dynamics of partner abuse. As an advocate for survivors, I’ve listed resources and linked to a few helpful articles below. Please hold on to hope and know that help is available.
When seeking help, use a SAFE phone or computer. Many abusers monitor their target’s use of technology.
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
The Hotline offers free, confidential, 24/7 support to help anyone in need of resources, including targets, abusers, and concerned loved ones, community members, or employers. Help is available.
https://www.thehotline.org/
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
TTY 1.800.787.3224
Text START to 88788
ANTI-VIOLENCE PROJECT
AVP empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy.
https://avp.org/get-help/
CHILD HELP
https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/
The Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline offers 24/7 crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources.
CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE RESOURCES - HERMAN LAW
https://hermanlaw.com/child-sex-abuse/
Information to help families understand the symptoms of child sexual abuse, its long-term effects, and how to help overcome the resulting trauma.
DAY ONE
https://www.dayoneny.org/our-services
Day One provides free and confidential counseling and case management, as well as legal advice, information, and direct representation to young people aged 24 and under related to dating abuse.
DOMESTIC SHELTERS
https://www.domesticshelters.org/
This website provides information and location of domestic violence programs and abuse shelters across the US.
GLOBAL INITIATIVE FOR BOYS AND MEN
https://www.gibm.us/
The Global Initiative for Boys and Men supports the well-being of boys, men, and families through research and advocacy.
LEGAL MOMENTUM
https://www.legalmomentum.org/get-help-form
This resource offers free legal information, assistance, and referrals.
LEGAL SERVICES CORPORATION
https://www.lsc.gov/
This independent nonprofit provides financial support for civil legal aid to low-income Americans.
LOVE IS RESPECT
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
Love is Respect offers support, information, and advocacy to young people who have questions or concerns about their dating relationships.
MERCY HOUSE
https://mercyhousesite.org/get-help/
Mercy House helps individuals affected by domestic violence and sexual assault in their efforts to move forward with their lives. It provides shelter, counseling, and advocacy.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free, and confidential support for people in distress, as well as prevention and crisis resources for oved ones, and best practices for professionals.
OFFICE OF WOMEN’S HEALTH
https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help/state-resources
This website offers state-by-state links to resources and programs that work to combat violence against women.
PEACE OVER VIOLENCE
https://www.peaceoverviolence.org/legal-services
Through its Legal Advocacy Project, POV provides free, comprehensive legal services for sexual assault and domestic violence survivors with legal issues in the areas of privacy, safety, immigration, and family law.
SAFE HOME
https://goodshepherds.org/program/safe-homes/
Safe Home offers a wide range of consultation, training, and educational services to community and professional groups and works to improve laws and policies affecting survivors. They also provide targeted services for special populations, including Spanish-speakers, youth, and LGBTQ survivors of partner violence.
SAFE HORIZON
https://www.safehorizon.org/our-services/what-we-do/
Safe Horizon provides services for victims of crime and abuse and their families. Includes: legal and court programs, domestic violence shelters, counseling center, and multiple hotlines.
SANCTUARY FOR FAMILIES
https://sanctuaryforfamilies.org/get-help/
SFF is a service provider and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, sex trafficking, and gender violence. Includes: courtroom advocates, family law project, crisis and transitional shelters, and counseling.
STRONG HEARTS NATIVE HELPLINE
https://www.strongheartshelpline.org/about/
This hotline supports Native Americans affected by domestic violence and dating violence.
VIOLENCE INTERVENTION PROGRAM
https://www.vipmujeres.org/get-help/
This program leads Latina victims of domestic violence to safety, empowering them to live free of violence and reach and sustain their full potential.
WOMAN KIND
https://www.iamwomankind.org/get-help/
Woman Kind provides highly trained helpline advocates that can answer general questions about domestic violence, human trafficking, and sexual violence across the lifespan.
WOMENS LAW
https://www.womenslaw.org/
Womens Law provides basic legal information, referrals, and emotional support for survivors of domestic violence. They also include a state-by-state guide for resources.
Additional Resources
The Battered Women’s Justice Project provides information on the criminal and civil justice systems’ response to intimate partner violence. 1.800.903.0111 x 1
The National Center on Protection Orders and Full Faith & Credit provides assistance on all protection order-related matters. 1.800.903.0111 x 2
The National Clearinghouse for the Defense of Battered Women helps victims charged with crimes due to the violence in their lives. 1.800.903.0111 x 3
For articles regarding Financial Abuse and important steps you can take to protect your financial security when leaving an abuser, visit CreditCards.com.
For information about alcohol and domestic abuse, visit this Alcohol Rehab Guide.
To learn about the links between domestic abuse and addiction, visit the Boca Recovery Center resource page.
To learn about becoming a victim’s advocate, visit Maryville University’s Victim Advocacy: Guide to Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence.
For a male survivor guide to help men find support and overcome trauma caused by abuse or assault, visit Innerbody Research.
Further Reading
4 Key Stages in the Cycle of Abuse: How to Recognize if You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
Are you in an abusive relationship? Sometimes it’s difficult to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy partnerships. That’s why it’s wise to learn about the well-documented patterns of behavior that tend to occur in toxic partnerships. Then we can more easily recognize when these traits show up in our own interpersonal relationships.
As a New York Times & USA TODAY bestselling author who has spent the last 10 years researching and writing about domestic violence (and other relationship issues), I’ve learned a lot about patterns of behavior. While some variations have been proposed (such as Scott Allen Johnson’s 14-stage cycle of depression for physical and sexual abusers), most psychological experts agree that the cycle of abuse contains four key phases (originally identified by Dr. Lenore E. Walker).
Stage One — Tension building: In this phase stress gradually builds, and the abuser grows more and more unsettled…
What to Say (and Not to Say) When Someone Confides in You About an Abusive Relationship
Domestic violence hotlines in America receive an average of more than 20,000 phone calls each day. Now, with COVID-19 adding extra stressors to family systems, many cities have reported an increase in domestic violence incidents.
How to help a loved one who is being abused
Abuse crosses into all segments of society, with victims of every age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, religious affiliation, and socio-economic class. However, the abuse is more likely to turn deadly for female targets. In the U.S. alone, it’s estimated that at least 20 women each week are murdered by an intimate male partner.
Beyond the observable violence that shapes these statistics, Susannah Furr, a licensed clinical mental health counselor at Now Awake Now, who specializes in helping targets of narcissistic abuse, warns that not all abusive relationships have to turn physical to be deadly…
How to Spot Master Manipulators and Avoid Being Played
Master manipulators act in patterned and predictable steps. Through their twisted lens, the world is their chessboard and people are pawns to be used and abused.
If we know what to watch for, we’ll be far less likely to be played by these cons, whether as individuals or as a society. So let’s walk through the typical strategies in a narcissistic playbook.
MANIPULATORS SET THEIR MARK
First, master manipulators set their focus on a target. This target may be a person, group, system, or nation that they’ll try to exploit for purposes of self-gain or simply to feel a surge of power and control.
These manipulators fail to understand that true strength is choosing love and kindness, and because they lack any sense of empathy or compassion for other people, they actually view kindhearted and honest souls as weak and pathetic. They often refer to their targets as “Losers” because they believe they’re “Winning” at some kind of game…
30 Important Domestic Violence Lessons to Learn from the Gabby Petito Brian Laundrie Case
As an author and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, I’ve learned a lot about the predictable patterns of unhealthy relationships. After years of personal experiences, research, and outreach, I’ve learned to recognize the tell-tale signs of abuse. I am not a licensed therapist, social worker, police officer, or minister.
In recent days, the tragic events involving Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie have given us a lot to learn. This case is still under investigation, and I can only make assumptions based on the textbook patterns of abuse I’ve witnessed too many times to count.
I also recognize that multiple families are grieving, and I have tremendous empathy for everyone involved. However, many survivors will resonate with at least some of the following insights, and I’m hoping we can use this tragedy to shift the way we as a culture approach the complicated issue of domestic abuse.
Let’s examine 30 important lessons this couple teaches us…
